Did You Mean to do That?

I was talking with a wonderful friend last night and it came around to the idea of being intentional with our friendships and interactions with people. I have realized over the last little while that there are some people that I have greatly valued over the years that I don't have as much of an strong relationship with any longer. I know as time goes by and our lives change and get busier some people seem to slip out of our lives. This used to really bother me but I have come to the decision that it can be OK for some people to play an important part at one point but take more of a back seat later. It's even OK to realize that sometimes there are people in our lives that aren't good for us. Some relationships can be toxic or unhealthy and then it is definitely find to realize this and cut those contacts out. There is the other side of this coin though that I don't like. Friendships that were good and people I enjoyed relationships with that I miss having more contact with.

Facebook has been an interesting factor in this equation. It's been wonderful to make contact with some people that have moved farther away, people that I did mission trips with, people that I met threw Church events when I was younger, friends from school, people I've met on trips or even friends of friends that I've felt some connection with. The problem with all this is that seeing small bit of these people's lives can make you feel comfortable in the superficial nature of the friendship. You see pictures of their kids, pets, trips, special occasions, the things they are doing, and feel like you are in the loop. You can easily forget to dig deeper.

This is why I have been thinking about being more intentional about forging deeper and more meaningful relationships and friendships. I feel everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. I don't want people to think that I don't care about them, I mean really care, about how they feel, what things they are going threw that are difficult, or just to celebrate with them when something good happens. Quite often out of insecurity and poor self image I have gone one of two way. I either expect people to make the first move and then feel rejected when they don't or I make all the effort and push too hard when things seem like they aren't going well.

I am making the choice now to find the happy medium. I am attempting to forge deeper relationships, rekindle friendships that have dwindled and not to push too hard when I feel my efforts aren't being noticed. I will be intentional. I meant to do that!

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