To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

This whole insomnia thing is not working for me.  I keep waking up early, I remember a LOT of dreams (don't ask me why I was dating Chad Kroeger, sliding down laundry shoots or trying to get my brother to hide me in my own house), taking a long time to fall asleep and waking up numerous times per night.  Some nights are slightly better than others and I have noticed a marginal difference with taking the vitamins my pharmacist recommended to tide me over but I really am looking quite forward to my doctors appointment on Wednesday.  I am very hopeful that he will be able to re prescribe my former insomnia medication because really, enough is enough.

Though I am quite good, if I do say so myself, at still being functional and acting like there is nothing the matter the truth is it's getting to me.  When I don't sleep enough I start to get overly emotional.  I already cry quite readily so it's really something to behold during these times.  I am always cold, short tempered with the kids, I have trouble following what people are telling me, I'm starting to feel a little depressed and I want to eat a lot of comfort food all the time.  That is causing me to pack on a few pounds, in turn making me feel more lethargic and uncomfortable.  I think everyone around here would like me to sleep better, although I think they are enjoying the calorie pack meals I've been making.

There is something about not sleeping that makes you come up with bad ideas and then think they are good ideas.  It's also sort of funny how I tend to brush off the issue.  This time I am taking it seriously but at other times when my sleeping has gotten bad I just "push through".  I pretend everything is fine and keep reminding myself that it won't last forever.  But why stick it out?  Why wait, hope and pray for an end to the cycle?  Why NOT do something about it, especially when there is some great options out there?  Mind you this has been a longer than average stint of sleep issues.  I know I'm over 3 weeks now but even if it was just a day or two wouldn't it just make sense to get some help?

I know I needed to go to a sleep clinic in order to get the medication I once had (sigh and think dreamily about said medication) but even that isn't so bad when you weigh it against the benefits.  Yes, it is intimidating.  You need to sleep at a strange location with strangers watching you while strapped to machines.  I was a little freaked out.  Everyone wonders how you can even sleep like that but it does end up happening somehow.  Yes, you don't sleep fantastically but you don't at home either.  That's why you're there!  Then once it's all said and done they give you the assistance you need to actually go forth and sleep in peace.

I have long since run out of the medication and I was under the impression that I would need to go back the clinic for another sleep visit in order to get a refill.  I wasn't sure how that would work with the kids.  I would have had to have my husband take a day off work to arrange it.  I was trying to figure out the logistics when my pharmacist told me that I should be able to just tell my doctor the medication I had, that it worked well for me and what is going on right now and he should be able to re prescribe it for me.  Once that is done it shouldn't be that difficult to get the tools I need to break out of an insomnia cycle.  A good night sleep makes all the difference so even if I can deal with a disruption now and then there should no longer be any reason I would have to.  I believe the family of this grumpy mom is very much looking forward to that.

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