I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough and Gosh Darn It, People Like Me!
Living life with a self esteem problem is not the way that we are intended to live. It should not be the norm for people to believe they are not good enough, physically or emotionally. Issues with your self esteem are signs of something that has not gone the way it was ideally supposed to go in your life. It is rather unfortunate that there is such a vast number of people (yes I realize men can have self esteem issues as well) that do not feel like they valuable.
I believe that for the most part we do not automatically have poor self esteem. It is a symptom of the world around us, things that have happened to us and the people we have interacted with. All these things come together to create in us our perspective on who we are and the role we play.
I do know a few people with excellent self esteem. They know their strengths and weaknesses and are able to understand that they will not be the best at everything, nor will they be the worst and that is OK. For these people with a healthy perspective on themselves and a strong understanding of their worth I think I might be difficult to understand the debilitating effects of a poor self image. If you do not see yourself as valuable it is hard to interact with others in a manner that is appropriate. Sometimes your self esteem will cause you to not be confident in your interactions with others. This is sometimes a problem for myself. I will branch out to a certain extent but once I am past a certain point I don't have the confidence in my personality to really pursue intimate friendships. I find I have a lot of acquaintances but not many close and true friends.
There is another side to this as well that I have noticed in some people with self esteem issues. They go to the other extreme with their confidence. Putting other people down it a way for them to feel better about themselves or bragging about how great they are might be masking their deeper feeling that they aren't really valuable at all. Sometime this can exhibit itself in throwing themselves at the opposite sex. They are looking for someone, anyone to make them feel special, loveable, interesting, valuable.
Someone with healthy self esteem could see these people and just wonder, what is going on with them? I have often heard men speaking about women with poor self esteem saying "I tell her she is beautiful all the time. It just doesn't seem to sink in." That is the problem. There is something that is broken in these peoples lives. If that broken thing is not fixed it won't matter how many times they are told trues that combat the lies that broke them.
I don't know a hard and fast rule for fixing, sometimes deep rooted, esteem issues. I do know that small steps are usually best. I have taken a look at the things in my life that have broken my self esteem. There are some things that have happened to me that would be damaging to any one's self image. I'm not saying that something seriously traumatic happened to me, you don't need to worry about abuse or things like that but the things that have happened were real, they were hurtful and they are difficult to not listen to. Sometimes that negative voice is so loud we can't hear anything but those hurtful words but maybe we can try to tune those voices out. We can try to listen to the still small voice that has been telling us all along that we're good enough. That we are special. That we are valuable. We are lovable and not only that but we ARE loved!
I believe that for the most part we do not automatically have poor self esteem. It is a symptom of the world around us, things that have happened to us and the people we have interacted with. All these things come together to create in us our perspective on who we are and the role we play.
I do know a few people with excellent self esteem. They know their strengths and weaknesses and are able to understand that they will not be the best at everything, nor will they be the worst and that is OK. For these people with a healthy perspective on themselves and a strong understanding of their worth I think I might be difficult to understand the debilitating effects of a poor self image. If you do not see yourself as valuable it is hard to interact with others in a manner that is appropriate. Sometimes your self esteem will cause you to not be confident in your interactions with others. This is sometimes a problem for myself. I will branch out to a certain extent but once I am past a certain point I don't have the confidence in my personality to really pursue intimate friendships. I find I have a lot of acquaintances but not many close and true friends.
There is another side to this as well that I have noticed in some people with self esteem issues. They go to the other extreme with their confidence. Putting other people down it a way for them to feel better about themselves or bragging about how great they are might be masking their deeper feeling that they aren't really valuable at all. Sometime this can exhibit itself in throwing themselves at the opposite sex. They are looking for someone, anyone to make them feel special, loveable, interesting, valuable.
Someone with healthy self esteem could see these people and just wonder, what is going on with them? I have often heard men speaking about women with poor self esteem saying "I tell her she is beautiful all the time. It just doesn't seem to sink in." That is the problem. There is something that is broken in these peoples lives. If that broken thing is not fixed it won't matter how many times they are told trues that combat the lies that broke them.
I don't know a hard and fast rule for fixing, sometimes deep rooted, esteem issues. I do know that small steps are usually best. I have taken a look at the things in my life that have broken my self esteem. There are some things that have happened to me that would be damaging to any one's self image. I'm not saying that something seriously traumatic happened to me, you don't need to worry about abuse or things like that but the things that have happened were real, they were hurtful and they are difficult to not listen to. Sometimes that negative voice is so loud we can't hear anything but those hurtful words but maybe we can try to tune those voices out. We can try to listen to the still small voice that has been telling us all along that we're good enough. That we are special. That we are valuable. We are lovable and not only that but we ARE loved!
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