Ms. Smarty Pants

We're now a few weeks into this whole school thing and starting to settle into going every day all day.  I must say I am pleased that my daughter has adjusted so well and isn't coming home grumpy and overwhelmed anymore. 

Two weeks into school her teacher pulled me aside as I was doing the after school pick up.  There is something about a teacher requesting to talk to you that makes you feel like something is wrong.  So as we moved to a more secluded location I was going over what the issue could be with my little girl, who has so far done her very best to instill herself as a teachers pet each year.  She was not, in fact, in trouble but her teacher did have a concern.  I was told my daughter has done very well, she seems to excel in everything that they have done so far.  Though the teacher said she was very smart, (she even called her a super star) she asked if she was happy.  I instantly got a little defensive.  I believe her teacher was asking me if her home life was a good one.  I pictured her teacher imagining almost an abusive and oppressive situation.  I was quick to inform her that my daughter is a very happy girl.  I think at this point the teacher realized how her question came across and clarified that she wondered if she likes school.  Though I was relieved my parenting was not under scrutiny this also surprised me because my daughter loves school.  She is always excited to go and tells me enthusiastic stories about what she does each day.  It just seems that when she is in the environment she is very serious and very hard on herself.  She is bothered when she makes mistakes and can sometimes be sensitive about correction. 

Her teacher was relieved to hear that school is something that she enjoys very much but she does put a lot of pressure on herself.  We try not to push her but it's just a drive that she has in herself.  Even the games and activities she wants to do when she comes home are far more difficult than any homework her teacher would send home.  She has not decided that she is writing a book.  She folded a paper and has been drawing and illustrating a story about Mom.  She told me this morning that she packed it in her backpack to show her teacher.  Maybe this will show the teacher that she continues these activities at home.  I made sure that she knows I want her to bring her book home though because I would like to keep it.  It's quite cute. 

Though she seems to pick up things very quickly and is a very studious little girl I am aware this is going to create it's own set of problems.  She can tend to be very bossy with other kids, she gets very frustrated when they don't do things the "right" way and she can get very overwhelmed when things are beyond her control.  We are going to have lots of issues with teaching her that things don't always go her way.  I think a little brother is a helpful balance for that.  He does not act the way she thinks he should, he does not do what he tells her too and most of all he does not know how to do things the "right" way.  I think he will be a good balance for her.

The other day he was crying upstairs.  When I went to investigate I found she was crying too.  I figured out he had hurt himself (a common occurrence) but it was very minor.  When I asked my daughter what was wrong with her she responded, "Sometimes I just cry when he cries."  I love her empathetic spirit.  I can see she will be a very sensitive and caring girl and I am blessed to have two pretty wonderful kids.  Every child though does come with their own challenges and I think that is what keeps us on our toes as parents.  What works wonders for one will be completely ineffective for another and what one child sees as important could mean nothing to another. 

There is a friend of mine who has two girls.  What she told me about her girls has really stuck with me.  She said, "We thought we had this parenting thing all figured out until [our second girl] came along."  Kids can be an excellent reminder that we all still have a lot to learn. 


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