Two Breastfeed

Today I read this article about the Time magazine article in the picture.  This seems to be getting a lot of attention for the apparent "sexualization" of breast feeding.  The article is discussing the benefit of breast feeding children past the age of 2.  Canada and the United States are some of the very few countries in the world that see this as a problem. 

I have myself had 2 children and breast fed them both for varying lengths of time.  With my first I had a fair bit of trouble with it and she cut herself off at about 6 months.  There wasn't much I could do to continue.  With my son I breast fed longer and nursed him for the last time on his 1st birthday.  At that point he was only nursing once a day. 

When people would see me out with my daughter, bottle in hand feeding a child who was obviously quite small I would get dirty looks from other moms.  I just knew they were thinking, "How dare she!?!?!  Doesn't she know that breast milk is so much better for her daughter."  In contrast, when I would be out with my older son and pull out my nursing cover to breast feed discretely in public I wold get dirty looks from other moms.  I just knew they were thinking, "How dare she!?!?!  Doesn't she know there is no point in breast feeding past the age of 6 months, plus it's just plain creepy."  Really we are damned if we do and damned if we don't.  If we stop when they are small people will judge us, if we continue until they are past say 6 months other people will judge us. 

I guess the lesson is to do what feels right for you and shut out all the opinions of others.  I really didn't have a choice with my daughter but with my son it was more up to me.  The age of 1 felt right because he was starting to grow up.  He was walking and talking and I just wanted my body back.  I felt I had done it long enough.  That being said, breast milk is AMAZING stuff and there are tuns of benefits for the kids!  There is a lot of research that shows breast fed kids have less allergies, decreases the risk of SIDS, boosts the immune system, and even makes kids smarter.  You may or may not believe me on any of these facts but they are discussed here.  To quote Kellymom,

Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.

One other thing I found interesting about breast milk was the unusual medical effects it could have.  For example squirting breast milk in a child's eye can clear blocked tear ducts.  A squirt up the nose can loosen congestion.  Seems strange but those are just a few of the interesting uses.  The one for clearing tear ducts was actually suggested to me by my doctor, in case you were thinking this was just a strange old wives tale type of thing.

Now, knowing of the benefit of breast feeding can have some interesting effects.  For some women who aren't able to nurse as they wanted they can feel guilty or like a failure because they aren't able to provide for their child in the way they had intended.  For these women I would say, don't worry about it!  Sure, you are going to get nasty looks from other moms but you would anyway.  The important part is to know that you did what you could and you are not alone!  The breastfeeding community makes it seem like it is so simple, easy and wonderful to nurse your child.  This is not true, at least not for everyone.  It can be VERY painful, difficult and frustrating and not everyone is able.  Remember they used to have wet nurses for this very purpose.  If it was just natural, easy and any woman could do it the position would not have been necessary.  This is also not to say you should give up at the first twinge of pain, ounce of frustration or ineffective latch.  There is a LOT of benefit.  I know a few women who have tried and tried, through immense pain, incredible difficulty and come up with very little milk for their efforts.  If I were in their shoes I would have given up long before they did.  I have also known women who never even gave it a real shot and simply state that they couldn't nurse. 

Whatever the benefit may be I know that I have also been guilty of looking strangely at someone nursing a child over the age of 2.  To be honest I have always thought it a little strange to be nursing a child old enough to ask for it.  I think of breast feeding as something for babies and once they start to grow up it doesn't seems a little strange to me.  Maybe it is because we are in a country that does sexualize the breasts, maybe it has to do with the availability of nutrition, maybe I was just selfish in wanting my body to be my own. 

I'm sure there is benefit to the child when they are nursed after age 2 but how much really is there?  I used to know a girl who was nursed to the age of 5.  She was pretty much the same as everyone else.  I mean she wasn't super human.  She didn't have unbelievable advanced intelligence.  She wasn't a marvel of medical science for her advanced immune system.  She got sick like everyone else and she still had to study.  What did happen though was people made fun of her about being nursed for so long.  They would snicker about it behind her back and tried to cover shocked looks when they found out.  It's a part of human nature, I suppose, to judge what is different.  I'm also not sure how much the benefit outweighs the drawbacks.  I wonder if some moms want to nurse for so long in an attempt to keep their children their babies but it should be up to the individual how long they feel is right for them and their child. 

We all what to think that what we have done is the right way though.  Anytime something comes along to suggest that there could be benefit to something we aren't comfortable with I think it's in our nature to attempt to point out the flaws in that method.  That would mean that we did it the right way, wouldn't it?