You Don't Know Me!

I have decided I want to get in shape to run a 5K in October. In order to do that I will really have to work on getting myself in running shape. I will defiantly share more about my experience with this down the road but today I share this with you to set the seen. I need running cloths. I don't own a pair of shorts and the only yoga style pants I have are maternity ones. So off I went to the Supercenter to see about getting something appropriate to exercise in outdoors. Shuffling threw the options I came up with a few pairs to try on after rummaging through rack after rack that were conspicuously missing my size. I mentioned this to the girl letting me into the change room and we had a quick chat about the stupidity of companies and the number of each size they send. Somehow this got shifted to a conversation about the difficulty of finding bras and I entered my change room to try on my choices. When I latter emerged and sorted threw what I thought I might purchase a woman came up to me and asked if I was the one talking about bras. When I confirmed she offered me the location of a place she believes will be the best choice for finding the size I need. I thanked her and said how I was hoping to not have to buy anymore since I'm working on the possibility of getting a reduction. Whenever I have mentioned my intention to try and get this surgery before I have most often gotten a response along the lines of "My, sister/mother/aunt/friend/cousin/someone got a reduction done and she said it was the best thing she ever did." I had up until then never come across someone that had thought it was not a good option and I have never met someone who has had the surgery themselves that regretted it. This woman was of a different opinion.

She launched into a lecture about how terrible an idea it would be for me to get this surgery for reasons I won't mention. She told me that she is a massage therapist and what I should do is just loose some weight. I informed her that I was working on loosing weight and I was attempting to start running to do a 5K (exhibit A: the running shorts). She then told me running was a bad option. I HAVE to go to the gym, I HAVE to do yoga, I HAVE to work on my core and under no circumstances should I ever get this surgery. No matter what I told her about my body, how it works, what I was trying or my financial situation (can't afford to join a gym) she informed my that it was not good enough or I was just plane doing it wrong or not putting in enough effort. Then she promptly told me she had to go and walked away without allowing me a defense.

The 2 girls manning the change rooms were stunned! The one girl looked at me and said "Did she actually just say that?" I then spent a few minutes talking with these girls about how crazy this woman was and why I do, in fact, know my body better than she does.

It was only until later that day that I realized how my reaction to this woman was so different that it would have been even a few weeks ago. If I would have come across someone who would have basically informed me that the only reason I am getting a bit of a hunch and my ribs are curving in is because I am fat and too lazy to do the real work to fix it I would have been reduced to a blubbering mess. My self esteem could have never stood up to that kind of outright attack. I am happy to say that this was not the case! I was able to rationally see that I do know my body better than she does. I know my structure is dense, I know I am fairly tall, I know I don't loose any cup size when my weight is reduced and I know that my weight is not a reflection of my fitness or muscle tone. I was able to move on knowing that what she had said was just her crazy opinion, knowing nothing about me or my body. I did not take it overly personally, although I will admit it's still a bit off putting to have a strange offer a critique on your personality, fitness and effort.

I have also learned over the last few days that I am actually in better shape than I assumed. I had let myself believe my weight was a reflection of my fitness level. I had always SAID that I had a bigger bone structure than average, that I was taller than average, that I have more muscle tone than the average woman but I never REALLY believed it. I tended to think I was just offering an excuse to other people and they would look at me and think "Ya right! She's just lazy." I have now realized that though I can be in better shape (and I'm working on that) I was actually right. Though my weight is high I don't actually have a lot of fat to loose. I know that I will always be considered heavy and that my BMI will always tell me I'm overweight. I just need to listen harder to the voice telling me that doesn't really matter.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Church is the People

Will's Hunt

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream