You Don't Know Me!
I have decided I want to get in shape to run a 5K in October. In order to do that I will really have to work on getting myself in running shape. I will defiantly share more about my experience with this down the road but today I share this with you to set the seen. I need running cloths. I don't own a pair of shorts and the only yoga style pants I have are maternity ones. So off I went to the Supercenter to see about getting something appropriate to exercise in outdoors. Shuffling threw the options I came up with a few pairs to try on after rummaging through rack after rack that were conspicuously missing my size. I mentioned this to the girl letting me into the change room and we had a quick chat about the stupidity of companies and the number of each size they send. Somehow this got shifted to a conversation about the difficulty of finding bras and I entered my change room to try on my choices. When I latter emerged and sorted threw what I thought I might purchase a woman came up to me and asked if I was the one talking about bras. When I confirmed she offered me the location of a place she believes will be the best choice for finding the size I need. I thanked her and said how I was hoping to not have to buy anymore since I'm working on the possibility of getting a reduction. Whenever I have mentioned my intention to try and get this surgery before I have most often gotten a response along the lines of "My, sister/mother/aunt/friend/cousin/someone got a reduction done and she said it was the best thing she ever did." I had up until then never come across someone that had thought it was not a good option and I have never met someone who has had the surgery themselves that regretted it. This woman was of a different opinion.
She launched into a lecture about how terrible an idea it would be for me to get this surgery for reasons I won't mention. She told me that she is a massage therapist and what I should do is just loose some weight. I informed her that I was working on loosing weight and I was attempting to start running to do a 5K (exhibit A: the running shorts). She then told me running was a bad option. I HAVE to go to the gym, I HAVE to do yoga, I HAVE to work on my core and under no circumstances should I ever get this surgery. No matter what I told her about my body, how it works, what I was trying or my financial situation (can't afford to join a gym) she informed my that it was not good enough or I was just plane doing it wrong or not putting in enough effort. Then she promptly told me she had to go and walked away without allowing me a defense.
The 2 girls manning the change rooms were stunned! The one girl looked at me and said "Did she actually just say that?" I then spent a few minutes talking with these girls about how crazy this woman was and why I do, in fact, know my body better than she does.
It was only until later that day that I realized how my reaction to this woman was so different that it would have been even a few weeks ago. If I would have come across someone who would have basically informed me that the only reason I am getting a bit of a hunch and my ribs are curving in is because I am fat and too lazy to do the real work to fix it I would have been reduced to a blubbering mess. My self esteem could have never stood up to that kind of outright attack. I am happy to say that this was not the case! I was able to rationally see that I do know my body better than she does. I know my structure is dense, I know I am fairly tall, I know I don't loose any cup size when my weight is reduced and I know that my weight is not a reflection of my fitness or muscle tone. I was able to move on knowing that what she had said was just her crazy opinion, knowing nothing about me or my body. I did not take it overly personally, although I will admit it's still a bit off putting to have a strange offer a critique on your personality, fitness and effort.
I have also learned over the last few days that I am actually in better shape than I assumed. I had let myself believe my weight was a reflection of my fitness level. I had always SAID that I had a bigger bone structure than average, that I was taller than average, that I have more muscle tone than the average woman but I never REALLY believed it. I tended to think I was just offering an excuse to other people and they would look at me and think "Ya right! She's just lazy." I have now realized that though I can be in better shape (and I'm working on that) I was actually right. Though my weight is high I don't actually have a lot of fat to loose. I know that I will always be considered heavy and that my BMI will always tell me I'm overweight. I just need to listen harder to the voice telling me that doesn't really matter.
She launched into a lecture about how terrible an idea it would be for me to get this surgery for reasons I won't mention. She told me that she is a massage therapist and what I should do is just loose some weight. I informed her that I was working on loosing weight and I was attempting to start running to do a 5K (exhibit A: the running shorts). She then told me running was a bad option. I HAVE to go to the gym, I HAVE to do yoga, I HAVE to work on my core and under no circumstances should I ever get this surgery. No matter what I told her about my body, how it works, what I was trying or my financial situation (can't afford to join a gym) she informed my that it was not good enough or I was just plane doing it wrong or not putting in enough effort. Then she promptly told me she had to go and walked away without allowing me a defense.
The 2 girls manning the change rooms were stunned! The one girl looked at me and said "Did she actually just say that?" I then spent a few minutes talking with these girls about how crazy this woman was and why I do, in fact, know my body better than she does.
It was only until later that day that I realized how my reaction to this woman was so different that it would have been even a few weeks ago. If I would have come across someone who would have basically informed me that the only reason I am getting a bit of a hunch and my ribs are curving in is because I am fat and too lazy to do the real work to fix it I would have been reduced to a blubbering mess. My self esteem could have never stood up to that kind of outright attack. I am happy to say that this was not the case! I was able to rationally see that I do know my body better than she does. I know my structure is dense, I know I am fairly tall, I know I don't loose any cup size when my weight is reduced and I know that my weight is not a reflection of my fitness or muscle tone. I was able to move on knowing that what she had said was just her crazy opinion, knowing nothing about me or my body. I did not take it overly personally, although I will admit it's still a bit off putting to have a strange offer a critique on your personality, fitness and effort.
I have also learned over the last few days that I am actually in better shape than I assumed. I had let myself believe my weight was a reflection of my fitness level. I had always SAID that I had a bigger bone structure than average, that I was taller than average, that I have more muscle tone than the average woman but I never REALLY believed it. I tended to think I was just offering an excuse to other people and they would look at me and think "Ya right! She's just lazy." I have now realized that though I can be in better shape (and I'm working on that) I was actually right. Though my weight is high I don't actually have a lot of fat to loose. I know that I will always be considered heavy and that my BMI will always tell me I'm overweight. I just need to listen harder to the voice telling me that doesn't really matter.
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