Back to the Future
I have leaned something over the last 2 weeks. I'm not in as bad of shape as I thought! I have always wondered about what weight I should be and what is a healthy goal for me to be and since according to my BMI I was still overweight when I was in the best shape of my life it's always been difficult for me to sort out what that means to me.
When Randall and I got engaged I had a LOT of motivation to get in shape. It doesn't help that when he proposed I had just come back from 5 months in England and was at my highest weight (to that date). I joined a gym and did my best to get in shape. I was spending about 2 hours at the gym at least 3 days a week and eating really well, especially considering I was a waitress. By the wedding I had managed to get down to my high school weight and was feeling alright about myself, though the feeling was short lived. As soon as my motivation was gone my determination slipped. Living in Elmira then there was no gym around so I joined Curves. It was alright for a while but really wasn't enough to keep me in the same kind of shape as a solid work out in a gym. Then we had the kids. It was to much for me to work up the motivation to get in shape when I knew we were going to have a second kid so I let my weight and fitness slip until after having the second. Now we are finished having children and the excuses took over. We did buy an elliptical machine that I use it a bit threw the winter but it was easy for me to put off and I really didn't WANT to exercise. I never WANTED to. In fact I thought those people said they loved working out or running were crazy liars! What was there to like? Whenever I would try anything I would end up red as a cooked lobster, have a headache for the rest of the day and be really soar the next day. In fact, back when I was working out at a gym they would quite often stop me from my workout and even though I would insist my blood pressure was low they would make me go check it. It was not an enjoyable experience so I looked for any reason to not do it.
So what has changed now? I'm learning how to do things the right way now for one. I have started out at a slower pace and am gearing myself up to it. I am taking care to watch my breathing and my heart rate. Getting a heart rate monitor has been a HUGE assistance for me! Now I know that I was pushing myself far to hard before, most likely the reason I was getting headaches and felt run down the next day. But even with these adjustments I still just didn't have the energy and if I spent a while walking I would reason that was enough for one day. Two weeks ago now I started to take ViSalus vitamins and shakes. Now I can't believe my energy difference! Even on days when I have done quite a bit of walking I still feel like I can get out and do more. I am one of those crazy liars now that thinks running isn't half bad! I am still gearing up to being able to run long distances and I don't really know what I'm doing yet but I'm out there trying it and seeing improvement even in 2 short weeks.
Another thing I realized is I'm not as far from being healthy and fit as my weight always suggested to me. There has been a real mental shift in the way I see things now. I know that I'm not going to loose a tun of weight. I know that's not possible for my frame and my muscle tone and I am becoming more and more OK with that. I know now that my health transformation is not going to be as much about dropping pounds as it is about shedding inches and toning up.
This past Tuesday was our 8 year wedding anniversary. We were at my parents out where my wedding dress is. I decided I would see how far it is from fitting. Since I'm about 24 lbs heavier than I was that day I assumed it would be VERY far from fitting but pulled it out anyway. Surprisingly I could get the skirt half zipped up and the top only had about an inch gap in the back when we tried to pull it together. This was a very different result than I had anticipated! It showed me that my perception of how I have changed is far greater than reality. Now I am beginning the process of getting a grip on that reality.
When Randall and I got engaged I had a LOT of motivation to get in shape. It doesn't help that when he proposed I had just come back from 5 months in England and was at my highest weight (to that date). I joined a gym and did my best to get in shape. I was spending about 2 hours at the gym at least 3 days a week and eating really well, especially considering I was a waitress. By the wedding I had managed to get down to my high school weight and was feeling alright about myself, though the feeling was short lived. As soon as my motivation was gone my determination slipped. Living in Elmira then there was no gym around so I joined Curves. It was alright for a while but really wasn't enough to keep me in the same kind of shape as a solid work out in a gym. Then we had the kids. It was to much for me to work up the motivation to get in shape when I knew we were going to have a second kid so I let my weight and fitness slip until after having the second. Now we are finished having children and the excuses took over. We did buy an elliptical machine that I use it a bit threw the winter but it was easy for me to put off and I really didn't WANT to exercise. I never WANTED to. In fact I thought those people said they loved working out or running were crazy liars! What was there to like? Whenever I would try anything I would end up red as a cooked lobster, have a headache for the rest of the day and be really soar the next day. In fact, back when I was working out at a gym they would quite often stop me from my workout and even though I would insist my blood pressure was low they would make me go check it. It was not an enjoyable experience so I looked for any reason to not do it.
So what has changed now? I'm learning how to do things the right way now for one. I have started out at a slower pace and am gearing myself up to it. I am taking care to watch my breathing and my heart rate. Getting a heart rate monitor has been a HUGE assistance for me! Now I know that I was pushing myself far to hard before, most likely the reason I was getting headaches and felt run down the next day. But even with these adjustments I still just didn't have the energy and if I spent a while walking I would reason that was enough for one day. Two weeks ago now I started to take ViSalus vitamins and shakes. Now I can't believe my energy difference! Even on days when I have done quite a bit of walking I still feel like I can get out and do more. I am one of those crazy liars now that thinks running isn't half bad! I am still gearing up to being able to run long distances and I don't really know what I'm doing yet but I'm out there trying it and seeing improvement even in 2 short weeks.
Another thing I realized is I'm not as far from being healthy and fit as my weight always suggested to me. There has been a real mental shift in the way I see things now. I know that I'm not going to loose a tun of weight. I know that's not possible for my frame and my muscle tone and I am becoming more and more OK with that. I know now that my health transformation is not going to be as much about dropping pounds as it is about shedding inches and toning up.
This past Tuesday was our 8 year wedding anniversary. We were at my parents out where my wedding dress is. I decided I would see how far it is from fitting. Since I'm about 24 lbs heavier than I was that day I assumed it would be VERY far from fitting but pulled it out anyway. Surprisingly I could get the skirt half zipped up and the top only had about an inch gap in the back when we tried to pull it together. This was a very different result than I had anticipated! It showed me that my perception of how I have changed is far greater than reality. Now I am beginning the process of getting a grip on that reality.
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