The Mom Blah Blah Blog

Good old Lent is moving along and I think things are going better than I had expected. Maybe it has to do with spring getting closer. Like many others I have a bit of a problem with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). This year doesn't seem to have been as bad as some other years. Even still, once there is a day or two of nice weather and sunshine I realize I have been living under a small cloud for a few months. Literally and figuratively. For those of you that don't know much about SAD I will fill you in a bit. In the winter since there is less sun and I definitely spend more time indoors (I can't stand the cold) the body absorbs less vitamins from sunlight. I think that is one reason this winter wasn't quite as bad as others. We moved in September and this house has a nice big window in our bedroom that lets in lots of light. Also since we are in a detached home now we have a lot more natural light threw out the house. Plus taking Trinity to school every da...

As a sort of continuation of yesterdays blog I wanted to encourage some fathers out there. Whenever I see a dad with a look of such love and adoration in his eye for his little girl I can't help but melt a little bit. I'm also very thankful for her knowing that she has a very good chance of growing up with healthy self esteem. For all those dads out there, if you hope to have a teenage girl that doesn't throw herself at guys and use her body to get attention I will tell you a great way to do it. Tell her you love her and tell her she is beautiful regularly. If she hears that she has a good chance of believing it. If she believes it she will be far less likely to throw herself around looking for the attention she feels she missed. Everyone wants to feel beautiful, valuable and loved. If we don't think we are we will spend our every waking minute looking for someone that will make us feel that way and we will do whatever it takes to hear it. No matter how fleetin...

For me, as well as I'm sure many others, writing has always been a somewhat cathartic experience. I find I often think better with the written word. If something is really bothering me it is not unheard of for my husband to get a note explaining what is going on with me. I know I can hear a collective groan from all of you who had note maker roommates at some point in your life. "Please don't leave your dishes in the sink. Next time I throw them in the garbage." Or maybe "This bathroom is disgusting and hasn't been cleaned for weeks." Quite often in my experience those note leavers were a large factor in the problem but almost felt the act of writing the note would absolve them from all involvement. I try not to be a note maker like that. I just feel that I am often best at expressing myself when I have had a moment to mull over what it is I'm really feeling and why. Usually my notes are also a conscious choice to figuratively "count t...

Having children can be great for the self esteem. Especially when you have one like Trinity. She's a very complimentary little girl and quite regularly will tell me how pretty I look or how wonderfully I do something. I do think she has the gift of encouragement. Though I think it's great to hear her little voice telling me fantastic things I have realized that often I write those words off. With her I think things like "How sweet that she doesn't know any better yet." I think this is a problem that a lot of us have. I know I don't except praise well. This is strange since the very things I would most like to hear I turn around and dismiss the next second. Many people I know do this. Why is it we have so much trouble accepting a compliment but we can never let go of a negative word. I couldn't tell you the last compliment I had that I still remember today but off the top of my head I can still recall in near perfect detail most of the cruel and ...

So, I'm thinking of renting my services as a self esteem shopping coach. What I will do is go shopping with you. I will try on lots of cloths and then when you see how horrendous they look on me you will be encouraged by your own shopping success. Well, maybe that's not my best idea. However it does seem to have been a bad day for the good old Lenten fast. I have been looking for a pair of dressy boots to wear for the spring. I needed something a step between my sneakers and heals so I decided to make the trek over to the Guess outlet in Cambridge. I was quite excited to see the purses and shoes and was drawn over to the many racks of clothing marked with a big red sign that said to take another 50% off. Since I do so love a sale and I don't have a lot of cloths something made me decide to try a few things on. I guess I was really trying to test my myself. As I looked in the mirror at the too small, ill fitting cloths I thought of yesterday's post about it be...

I know women have a love hate relationship with shopping for cloths. On the rare occasion you find something that fits and makes you look presentable you are ecstatic however all to often a shopping trip ends with disappointment and sometimes depression. Of course we blame ourselves when we can't find something that's right. Why wouldn't we? You would think that clothing companies know what they are doing and make their product in appropriate sizes. This is why we are so devastated when after trying innumerable items we walk away empty handed. I am in between sizes. The trendy clothing stores don't carry cloths that come close to fitting even in their largest size but the smallest items in plus size are the wrong shape and to large. I don't think this is as big a problem in the States but that is another matter. Many years ago I worked at a clothing store. It was during that time I realized how serious the cloths shrinking epidemic has become. I'm sur...

Since Sundays are not part of the Lenten Fast this means that today I am free to be as self deprecating as I wish! Well, really I don't think that rule would apply to this type of "fast" however I am going to pose a question for everyone. What is the WORST thing about you? I'm not asking you to respond and tell me all the terrible things you have done or your dirty little secrets. I just want you to think about the thing you think it the wort part of you. Now that you're thinking about it I have another question. Is it REALLY that bad? I know for myself I will compare the parts of me that I struggle most with to someone else who is exceedingly strong in that facet. If I'm feeling overweight I will look at someone who is exceptionally thin or if I'm feeling scattered I compare to the obsessively organized. I have noticed that it's never someone who is average in that aspect. Maybe all that it will take for us to feel a bit better about ourselve...

A few months ago I had a falling out with a very close friend. For a few days it was devastating to me. I did a lot of crying, not much sleeping and spent time putting myself down for being such a terrible person that destroyed such a long friendship. You see we had been best friends since I was 18 and no I'm not going to tell you how long ago that was. For the last number of years she had been living abroad so needless to say we hadn't been spending much time together at all but I always felt that when we saw one anther it was like no time had passed at all. I'm guessing it was not that way for her. The falling out came from me saying something out of concern for her that did not come across in the way I had intended it. She in turn was offended and chose to end the friendship. Though I apologized and attempted to explain where I was coming from I'm very sure that there will never be a friendship between us again. All contact has also been cut. In the days th...

It seems that my Kids are ganging up on me as co-torturers by means of sleep deprivation. I am no stranger to sleep deprivation and before having my first baby I thought how I had a skill set in this situation that would serve me well as a new mom. I didn't know what I was in for! You see for years I have had issues with insomnia. It's not severe and for the most part it's been rather manageable but once in a while, usually due to an outside stressor, I will have a difficult bought. This has led to a few trips to a sleep clinic to "sleep" in their strange, hospital like, cubical rooms with electrodes stuck all over and a band strapped around my chest. I know what you are thinking, that must make it almost impossible to sleep at all but surprisingly it doesn't end up being so bad. The results however where that I do have insomnia and tend to wake up an average of 18 times a night. This isn't as bad as it sounds either and with the medication they gav...

I have been rather nervous this week. I've been thinking a lot about my ability to do well at a new business opportunity that I have started. The problem is I have discovered I tend to want everything to be perfect and if it isn't I think I'm a failure. This can really get in the way of attempting new things or even being open to meeting new people and creating new friendships. Often I think I will not do or say things correctly and therefor people will not like me so rather than being vulnerable to possible rejection I just don't try at all. This all or nothing attitude is getting in the way of my success and as a demonstration of my commitment to my Lenten "Fast" of self abasement I am attempting to take imperfection in stride. This relates directly to my start as a Latasia Consultant. My nervousness was caused by a fear that no one would show up to my debut because they just plain don't like me. So when someone would reply that they were unabl...

I remember in high school you would have the guidance appointments where you would discuss "what you want to do with your life". These stressed me out because I had NO IDEA what I was good at. This continued after high school where I attended college, then university and then a second college still unable to decide what I was gifted at. I think some of this is based in my lack of confidence in myself and what can do. Although I believe it also would have helped if the guidance counsellors would have had ANY CLUE about careers that require creativity. I now think I would have quite enjoyed being an interior designer but that's another story. In that last few years, since I'm a stay at home mom, I have been looking for ways to create income for myself. I have tried a few things such as making jewelry, cake decorating, and sewing nursing covers. The problem is I feel like I am the Jill of all trades and master of none. I'll start one project, see that other ...

I just received a message that an acquaintance of mine passed away. We weren't close but he was a member of my church community and his daughter is a few weeks older than my son. I was thinking about them recently since we are doing Elevation at home (church in small groups at houses) again this week and we were in a group with them just before our children were born. I can't imagine the loss of my own husband or what it would mean for my children and I am heartbroken for them as they deal with this reality. As a show of support for them someone from the church community has decided to deliver meals to them. I will be making one of those meals. It seems like something so insignificant in such a difficult time but what can you do to show friendship to someone experiencing loss. I hope that these efforts transcend mere food and go to show her support, friendship and most of all love. This also in a small way ties in with my efforts at eliminating negative self talk. I...

As a stay at home mom I sometimes feel that I don't have much outlet for intellectual conversation. Surprisingly I get somewhat tired of hearing the lessons on Playhouse Disney and trying (unsuccessfully) to decipher the gibberish the comes out of Alex's mouth. It's not that I don't enjoy hearing "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" about 100 times a day but it would be nice to have a place to talk about the things that are on my mind, the issues that concern me or to just revel in the glory of the occasional astounding thing my children say. That being said my first post will be about an issue I see popping up a LOT on the Facebook posts of my friends. It's the issue of Self esteem. Obviously I struggle with this myself. I think everyone does. The problem is we tend to compare ourselves to other people and not just celebrities. I will look at the other moms I know and think how great a job they are doing. How they seem to have everything together. Th...