I Am Second, Real Stories. Changing Lives. A Book Review

I Am Second isn't a book written by one author.  It's a compilation of stories written from interviews done with a number of different people.  I must confess, one of the main reasons I wanted to read this book is because of Brian "Head" Welch.  I've had a bitty crush on him from back in the Korn days and I was rather excited when I found out he had become a Christian.  His story is one of the ones covered in the book and I really wanted to hear what had caused him to turn from being uber "successful", popular and adored to facing the possible scorn of his former band mates and Korn fans.  His story was very interesting and touching but it was not the one that was most relatable for me.  The beauty of this book is that it covers so many perspectives, so many situation, upbringing, confrontations and social standings that there is no way someone could read this book and not find at least one story that they related to in some way. 

The book is well written and has a lot of media backing for the stories as well.  Some people are readers and some really are not so there are on line links to every persons story at www.iamsecond.com where the interview of every person is posted for you to watch.  At the end of each chapter there is a blurb that says, "To see other stories like this please visit," followed by a small picture and a web address for that persons interview.  One of the interviews not present in the book that I was quite interested in was that of Anne Rice.  I have always enjoyed her vampire books and found her conversion and writing of book from the perspective of Jesus as a boy quite interesting.  Her video can be found at www.iamsecond.com/annerice if you would like to watch it for yourself. 

The stories all speak of not being able to fill the hole in your life with anything other than a relationship with God.  Even though I have always grown up with a knowledge of God and believing in not only his existence but his love, I still can slip into a pattern of Independence.  I often think I can do it myself, or I can fix this without help.  I am very reluctant to ask for assistance from anyone, even God.  Lately however, I have been coming to realize that I really just haven't been acting like I am second.  I have been trying to be first and it just isn't working for me.  That is part of the issue I am having with my self esteem.  I keep attempting to fix all my problems and make myself perfect but by putting myself first and focusing so much on me, me, me is just making for more issue.  I can never be good enough, or perfect enough on my own and constantly striving for that is not only exhausting but damaging.  You can quickly become an entirely self centered and depressed person when the entire drive in your life is to grab hold of something that it completely unattainable.  I can never "arrive" but I will die trying if I can't shift my focus.  I believe that is the main message of the book.  If we can manage to just give up that control to God.  If we can let him take over in the first position we can relax a bit.  We can know that there is someone that is so much more capable of sorting out our problems looking out for us and loving us in a way we will never be able to find on our own.  It's a good feeling.  There is so much less pressure when we accept that forgiveness.

One of the parts of the book I really appreciated was in the final wrap up actually.  It says, " Even in the modern world, a person who commits a crime is not judged by whether he has done more good than he has wrong.  He is judged on whether or not he committed the crime."  It was an excellent reminder for me that I can never be perfect no matter how much (or little) I try but that's okay because forgiveness is the most important part and I don't have to DO anything to get it.  All I have to do is accept.  

I am Rachel Freeman and I am second. 


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