The Mom Blah Blah Blog

Today I'm having a few steps back sort of day. I'm feeling a little frustrated with myself for a few reasons. I'm not going to get into details to much cause I have a feeling it will make me beat myself up even more than I am now. The one encouraging thing about this is that my reaction is a little different than it would have been in the past. If I were discouraged then I would have just wanted to mope around, maybe watch some TV or a movie and most likely eat something bad for me. Tonight my first thought was that it's a good thing that it's a run night. I really feel like I should get out there and blow off some steam. I guess that's an improvement.

This last weekend we were in Stouffville for the Misty Meadows Tea and craft sale. My family put on the sale for my Grandfather who writes children's books. He's published them in a different format and was doing a book launch. The setting for the books is the farm where the sale took place. The stories were ones that my Grandpa told us as kids about the animals that lived in the aria. In this case I think he needs to write a new one with a coyote or two. It went quite well for him and the family is very pleased. We got to visit with family and attend a 1st Birthday party for my cousins little guy who is super cute and such a happy little man! All in all I had a very pleasant and indulgent weekend. Lewis family meals are never on the small side and if I do say so myself we are pretty good cooks! This might be a part of my problem. Food is good, and I want to eat it! So I did. I had hamburgers, pasta salads, veggies and dip, some potato chips, squares, gummies a...

There are things that happen in our lives sometimes that make you question if you're going about things the wrong way. At least I hope I'm not the only one that feel this way. There have been things that have happened over the years that make me question the quality of the friendship I offer to people. I want to be loving and generous but there are times when I just feel like a failure. Though I might seem outgoing it has mostly, until recently, been a front. I would be outgoing when I meet someone but get nervous that they wouldn't like me and back off waiting for them to make the next move. I do this because of the doubt that they would be interested in befriending me and because I'm scared of rejection. Lately I have been attempting to stretch my comfort zone. I have been a bit more brave when it comes to making a move. I have found it hasn't been that bad and people have seemed genuinely happy to talk with me. I have been trying to keep in mind tha...

I know I already posted something today but I just can't help myself. I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I've been reading it a little bit at a time for a long while and wasn't really that into it until lately. The last few nights I've been reading it before bed and though it has been thought provoking and insightful in parts it wasn't really profound like I had expected from how some people have talked about it. That is until this last chapter I read. It's a chapter about Love, subtitled How to Really Love Yourself. I look at this title and think, "Ya right! This dude is going to actually teach me the secret to how to properly love myself. This is going to be another love yourself because God loves you bit that I've heard so many times." For some reason knowing God loves me just the way I am doesn't make me feel better about myself. I mean he loves EVERYONE even if they are totally (from a human perspective) not w...

I'm thinking in a few directions this morning and having trouble deciding what one to talk about. One can be a bit of a sticky subject but some of my thinking was slightly altered about this last night. I think I'm going to talk about money, dun, dun, dun! Money is one of those conversations that tends to be avoided but avoiding something doesn't make the problem go away. Thankfully Randall and I have a similar approach to money, we are both sort of cheep. If I'm going to buy anything I'm going to try and make sure it's the least expensive way I can get it. Randall tends to be the same way. This is helpful for our marriage since 2 people with very different spending styles can have a lot of conflict. I'm not saying we don't have problems at all, we definitely do, just not really with our spending. Part of our spending style I think might have a fair bit to do with necessity although even when we were both working and didn't have kids ...

Living life with a self esteem problem is not the way that we are intended to live. It should not be the norm for people to believe they are not good enough, physically or emotionally. Issues with your self esteem are signs of something that has not gone the way it was ideally supposed to go in your life. It is rather unfortunate that there is such a vast number of people (yes I realize men can have self esteem issues as well) that do not feel like they valuable. I believe that for the most part we do not automatically have poor self esteem. It is a symptom of the world around us, things that have happened to us and the people we have interacted with. All these things come together to create in us our perspective on who we are and the role we play. I do know a few people with excellent self esteem. They know their strengths and weaknesses and are able to understand that they will not be the best at everything, nor will they be the worst and that is OK. For these people...

I'm still very impressed with how great I've been feeling with the ViSalus products! I've got more energy for sure and I've been trying to get out and use it up. The running training is going well and I have now passed the mark where I am jogging more than I am walking, I haven't hurt my knees again, thanks to some suggestions and changes and I am noticing a jump in my endurance and strength. I'm really excited about these products and really do think that everyone would love them as much as I do. As you know I did sign up as a promoter for the products. That means that I can sell them and make money when people sign up threw me. This is both a blessing and a curse I have found. Since I can sell them and people know I will make money from it I think they tend to tune out what I have to say. It's almost like they think I am exaggerating my results or just trying to throw them a sales pitch in order to convince them to sign "sign their life awa...

I watched a youtube video this morning about our food and how it's been genetically engineered and altered over the years. I must confess I have known that this has been going on for some time but haven't really known what to do about. I think I've mostly taken the stand of an ostrich with it's head in the sand. I know that there is a problem but I had no idea what to do about it and how bad it really is. I also err on the side of being too trusting of the Government. I had figured that there was more testing done and that they wouldn't allow things to be on the shelves that were that harmful to us. I suppose I was sort of defeatist about things as well. Really there isn't a lot out there that is "good" for us anymore and I can't afford to eat all organic so what's the point in trying. Randall was also explaining a bit to me today about items that are labeled Certified Organic as apposed to Organically Grown. He was saying that O...

I got a great phone call today. I have an appointment booked with a specialist about a reduction. This means I've reached another of my goals for my Body by Vi challenge since they refused to book me unless I was under a certain weight. When I called my Doctor's office to let them know and to go ahead and book the appointment they made it sound like it might not be enough. The nurse was saying that if I was in the process of loosing they might want me to reach my ultimate goal weight before they will do anything. It took a little convincing on my part to get her to just call and see if they would book me in. I find it frustrating that not only do they have this hard and fast number that you must be under that even fitting that might not be enough. I also don't understand why they wouldn't just want to book the appointment anyway. If there is an option that would help other than surgery you would think I could get started with that at any time. Regardles...

Last weekend we went with my parents to Round Lake. We stayed in the gigantic trailer that my Dad bought and if you don't believe me when I say gigantic I will post a picture. This isn't a picture I took of my Dads but it's one I pulled off the internet of the exact model they have. I must say, this is more my idea of "roughing it". The kids had a queen sized bunk that they slept in, my parents had their queen sized bed and Randall and I stayed in the garage. Yes there is a garage. It has a couch that flattens into a queen sized bed and another queen bed above it that lowers from the ceiling. When they are lifted their motorcycles can be driven in the back and hooked into the wheel lock to transport wherever they are going. Needless to say it was spacious and comfortable. A much better choice for me than tents and bathrooms that are to far away. The kids had a blast playing in the lake, climbing rocks, running around and spending time with Grandma and Gran...