Cut That Out!

Once again we are in the midst of another season of Lent.  Some of you do practice Lent and some of you don't but no matter what camp you fall into there can be something very helpful about taking time to look at how you can improve as a person.  A few years ago a wonderful woman I know took on a difficult "Lenten Fast" of giving up negative self talk.  This was a big inspiration for me.  It not only encouraged me to take my head out of the sand and actually start chipping away at my negativity towards myself, it also showed me that I am not alone in my struggle.  Here was a woman that I thought of as beautiful, kind, considerate, fun, cool and collected who could not see these same qualities in herself.  This affirmed in my head, the thought that every woman struggles with self esteem.  

There was something comforting in that thought.  It was helpful to me to know that people I esteem are struggling alongside me.  Though this thought can be helpful initially in helping me to gain a new perspective on myself, in the long run it can also hold me back.  You see, I thought if every woman struggles with self esteem issues then my own insecurities are just a part of life that I need to learn to live and work with.  You see, it's sort of like your body.  I thought my issues were like an internal organs.  They were nicely hidden away and no one could really know they were there except for me and maybe the occasional person who would cut me deep enough to see them.  This is not the case at all.

Recently I have started a book study of You're Already Amazing by Holley Gerth.  One of the women mentioned that the author writes almost assuming that every woman struggles with their self esteem. (Maybe she was just writing to the book with the many women out there that do think that way).  This realization was a but one for me though.  It was that there are women out there with healthy self esteem!   Did you know that?  It is actually possible!  

If this is true (and it is).  Then that means my whole perspective is wrong.   My self esteem is not an internal organs.  It is not something I need to survive.   It is a cancerous growth that needs to be intentionally cut out and dealt with and not only is it possible to live without it, I can be much much healthier if I do succeed in removing it.

So surgery it is.  There are a few issues I will be addressing for the first time and some old wounds that I'll be working to heal once again but it will be worth it.   I hope you will join me too as I attempt to cut that out!


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