All Grown Up

My daughter turned 7 yesterday and for one of her birthday gifts we gave her a little diary with a lock on it.  She has been all about privacy lately and has been loving writing on any little scrap of paper she can find so we thought this would be a good idea.  I asked her this morning about where she put the key.  I don't think she really understands the idea of how this "secret book" works since she told me she put it with the book so she doesn't loose it.  I tried to explain that if the key is with the book it really won't keep her brother out of it but she apparently doesn't have a firm grasp on his level of curiosity.  Even though he just turned 4 and has no ability to read he has still managed to break her privacy in less than 24 hours.

We were upstairs today and my son brings me the opened book.  She apparently also doesn't understand how to even lock it since it was locked on only one loop, therefor not locking it closed at all.  The book was opened to a line of writing.  "I have a crush on _________".  I will leave the name out in order to somewhat protect her privacy.  So even though my son is unable to read he has still managed to reveal her secret.

This pointed out to me a few things.  1. My 7 year old has a crush!  This doesn't totally shock me.  She did tell me the person she plays with the most at school is a boy.  I also remember having crushes myself at this age.  I'm really not bothered at all by her having a crush but I am bothered.  I'm bothered by 2. I have asked her if she had a crush before, since she was talking about another girl in her class having a secret crush and it sparked the discussion.  She told me no... with a totally straight face and I believed her without question.  This shows me she's a good liar.  Mind you, it could have developed after I asked but I have actually asked her a few times because one of her little friends told me she had a boyfriend.  Now I wonder about that.  I want her to be able to feel comfortable with me and be able to talk to me about anything and everything.  I want us to have an open relationship where she is confident that Mom will always listen and not overreact.  I thought that by starting early and asking her lots of questions and paying attention to what is going on with her that would automatically happen.  Now it seems that might not be the case.

So the question is, how do I create with her the kind of relationship that I want if it doesn't come naturally?  I suppose part of it will be allowing her to have her own private things and not pushing her to hard.  I won't mention to her that I know what she wrote and her brother really has no idea at this point.  I will continue to ask questions, continue to encourage honesty, continue to pray and continue to listen.  She is just turned 7 after all and is just figuring out how things work and learning so much every day.  I does seem that I'll have to watch a little more closely for words that don't add up though, since I know she's pretty good at pulling one over on me.



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