Muffin Top Shop
It's been a while since I've posted and in some ways that's a good thing. I tend to write more when I'm struggling than when I'm doing well so a gap in writing can mean that I am in a good frame of mind. The weather has also been so wonderful that we've been very busy with outdoorsy things and I've also been trying to get back into the routine of more exercise.
Things are going well and there was an event on the weekend that really pointed that out to me. My parents gave us a wonderful little break and took the kids for a few days of the March break. Since I was given a gift certificate for Conestoga Mall from my fantastic Father in Law I decided that I would do a little solo shopping. What could be a better time than when I can actually try things on in peace? I also am in need of cloths that both fit so off I went.
Pants. Specifically jeans. I think almost every woman has trouble finding a pair that fits just right. I grabbed about 8 pairs and started the process of weeding out the ones that don't work. Since I was there by myself and I really do like to get an opinion about how things look I usually accost a random stranger to see if they think the fit works. I do on occasion ask the person working there but I tend to think their opinion will be biased. There was a woman sitting outside a change room waiting for her daughter so I asked her what she thought of the jeans I had put on. She told me they looked alright and I expressed to her that I was always concerned that since I have a straight figure I always get a muffin top since pants cut in at the waist and I was just wondering if it was very noticeable. I didn't think it was overly bad with that pair of pants since they were a slightly lower rise but that was why I wanted the second opinion. The woman then said to me, "Do you know the cure for that?" My mind perked up thinking, this woman has a simple cure for my pants fit problem. Those hopes were immediately dashed by her response to my questioning eyes. Sit ups, she says. SIT UPS! Then she tells me that she lost 60 lbs 4 years ago and has kept it off and really I should be doing sit ups.
I was very lucky that I had gone to the mall in a good state of mind and that my confidence has been growing. It is also lucky that I know that shape is not affected by size. Meaning that no matter what size or weight I am I will still have a straight shape and even it I was much smaller I would still get muffin top simply because I would still have to deal with pants made for people with wider hips than me.
I was shocked at the rudeness of this woman and her casual way of insulting a random stranger. She really seemed oblivious to the fact that it could even be seen as insulting or if she did know it was rude she really didn't care. It almost seemed like she felt she was doing me a favor. Letting me in on a little known secret about size and shape. I was pleased however that rather than become down on myself for not being able to somehow mold my body into a completely different shape I was instead sad for this woman's daughter. I pictured the day when this girl started to put on a pound or two and wasn't the slender teen age shape she is now. I imagined the snide comments this mother would make to her, slowly crushing what confidence and esteem this girl has now. Hopefully this isn't what happens but quite often this is the case. Parents can think that they are only saying something to help their daughter be the "best she can be" or they try to coax or goad her into physically beauty with the idea that it will then be easier for her to stand up to the criticism of pears. Really this is the opposite of true. Parents instead need to teach their children they are beautiful just the way they are and that will give them the confidence to not care what their pears thing.
I told my Husband in a text while I was out that "Shopping is depressing work." It really is and it's difficult to withstand the pressure to fit into the cloths rather than make the cloths fit you. For each woman too there is some part of their figure that isn't "standard". Hopefully we can all start to see that it's the standard that's off. Not us. So although I still will continue to do sit ups (yes random woman, I already do them) I will not expect that it will make any difference to my over all shape and I will shop with the expectation of muffin top.
Things are going well and there was an event on the weekend that really pointed that out to me. My parents gave us a wonderful little break and took the kids for a few days of the March break. Since I was given a gift certificate for Conestoga Mall from my fantastic Father in Law I decided that I would do a little solo shopping. What could be a better time than when I can actually try things on in peace? I also am in need of cloths that both fit so off I went.
Pants. Specifically jeans. I think almost every woman has trouble finding a pair that fits just right. I grabbed about 8 pairs and started the process of weeding out the ones that don't work. Since I was there by myself and I really do like to get an opinion about how things look I usually accost a random stranger to see if they think the fit works. I do on occasion ask the person working there but I tend to think their opinion will be biased. There was a woman sitting outside a change room waiting for her daughter so I asked her what she thought of the jeans I had put on. She told me they looked alright and I expressed to her that I was always concerned that since I have a straight figure I always get a muffin top since pants cut in at the waist and I was just wondering if it was very noticeable. I didn't think it was overly bad with that pair of pants since they were a slightly lower rise but that was why I wanted the second opinion. The woman then said to me, "Do you know the cure for that?" My mind perked up thinking, this woman has a simple cure for my pants fit problem. Those hopes were immediately dashed by her response to my questioning eyes. Sit ups, she says. SIT UPS! Then she tells me that she lost 60 lbs 4 years ago and has kept it off and really I should be doing sit ups.
I was very lucky that I had gone to the mall in a good state of mind and that my confidence has been growing. It is also lucky that I know that shape is not affected by size. Meaning that no matter what size or weight I am I will still have a straight shape and even it I was much smaller I would still get muffin top simply because I would still have to deal with pants made for people with wider hips than me.
I was shocked at the rudeness of this woman and her casual way of insulting a random stranger. She really seemed oblivious to the fact that it could even be seen as insulting or if she did know it was rude she really didn't care. It almost seemed like she felt she was doing me a favor. Letting me in on a little known secret about size and shape. I was pleased however that rather than become down on myself for not being able to somehow mold my body into a completely different shape I was instead sad for this woman's daughter. I pictured the day when this girl started to put on a pound or two and wasn't the slender teen age shape she is now. I imagined the snide comments this mother would make to her, slowly crushing what confidence and esteem this girl has now. Hopefully this isn't what happens but quite often this is the case. Parents can think that they are only saying something to help their daughter be the "best she can be" or they try to coax or goad her into physically beauty with the idea that it will then be easier for her to stand up to the criticism of pears. Really this is the opposite of true. Parents instead need to teach their children they are beautiful just the way they are and that will give them the confidence to not care what their pears thing.
I told my Husband in a text while I was out that "Shopping is depressing work." It really is and it's difficult to withstand the pressure to fit into the cloths rather than make the cloths fit you. For each woman too there is some part of their figure that isn't "standard". Hopefully we can all start to see that it's the standard that's off. Not us. So although I still will continue to do sit ups (yes random woman, I already do them) I will not expect that it will make any difference to my over all shape and I will shop with the expectation of muffin top.
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