A Year in Review

As Lent began again today I was reminded of last years lent and it dawned on me the difference between this year and last. Last year at this time I was just starting up my Lenten journey of giving up negative self talk. I was in a bad place. I was feeling very heavy, ugly, unlovable, lonely and pretty much worthless. Obviously I was very down on myself but lent was just the opportunity I needed to push me into positive change. I will not say that I'm perfect now. I still have my days where I forget how far I have come and that change isn't instantaneous. Over all though I would say that this year I am in a MUCH better place. The first thing that needed changing was my attitude. It was all or nothing with me. I was either perfect or pathetic. Lent caused me to realize how hard I was being on myself. I decided to cut me some slack. It made all the difference. I was then able to make other positive changes without the pressure to make everything right, right now. With that weight off my shoulders I was able to do something about the other aspects that were bothering me. Now this year I'm down 30 lbs, I'm more active and healthier, I'm not really angry and resentful anymore and I'm generally... happy. This happiness hasn't been determined by my circumstances. It has actually been the other way around. I made a decision to be happier with me and as a result of that I was able to change the circumstances.

This year I have yet to decide what I will do for Lent. It was such a life changing start that was made last year I know this year can't hope to have the same results. I will say that I am grateful however for the yearly reminder of how good we have it and that if we are unhappy with something in our lives we can change it.

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